Lauren posted this:
hi here is my sentence
I am a good cook. I can cook lots of things like lasagna which can be hard to get right and I can make my own pesto sauce or also some desserts too. I learn how to cook from when I was a child. My mother had five children so she cooked a lot and thats where I learned it from. Lots of people tell me I am good at cooking now and that makes me happy. My mom would be proud.
That’s a great paragraph, Lauren. You brought up different kinds of things that you could cook, and talked about your mom, which could end up being two main ideas in an essay. You might think about a third thing if you ever wanted to turn this into an full essay, but it’s a great start!
I noticed you had a few run-on sentences, so I thought I might talk about that a little.
Run-ons are pretty hard to catch. When we talk, we say a lot of “ands” and “buts” without really pausing sometimes. Our brains don’t think like an essay, they just kinda run and run. Just like run-ons.
“I can cook lots of things like lasagna which can be hard to get right and I can make my own pesto sauce or also some desserts too.”
This sentence can be split up. They best thing to do to split it is to find the verbs and the conjunctions (joining words). I’ll mark the verbs in green and the conjunctions in red.
“I can cook lots of things like lasagna which can be hard to get right and I can make my own pesto sauce or also some desserts too.”
A good rule to follow is to have two verbs at the most in each sentence. Since there’s three verbs in this sentence, it can be cut down to two sentences by removing the and. I would also replace the “or” with “and” because “or” means that you can cook pesto sauce or desserts, not both.
“I can cook lots of things like lasagna which can be hard to get right. I can make my own pesto sauce and also some desserts too.” Continue reading