GED Science Conspiracies… Does the Government Want Your Hair?

Want to learn some GED science, and find out how the government’s gonna invade your privacy in the future? One single strand of hair… and THEY can tell where you were all last year? Can they tell what planet I was abducted to, that’s what I wanna know! Yeah, it’s true, a new science study can figure out where you were by lookin’ at your hair. Continue reading

GED Science: Glow-in-the-dark cats… Good science?

Yeah. This is totally something I want to see on the GED test… Cats that glow in the dark. How can the GED make something so interesting into boring multiple choice questions? So, did scientists make these cats to sell them to millionaires for big bucks? To write funner GED practice questions? Or can glow-in-the-dark cats really help scientists cure diseases and save endangered species? I thought about it a lot, cuz it seemed weird to me. I think the answer’s in how they do the cloning, tho, and that’s GED science thinking. Continue reading

GED Science: What’s So Great about Mummy Dinos?

Here’s the article I found about mummy dinosaurs…sweet!Dinosaur Mummy Found with Fossilized Skin and Soft Tissues

We all know it’s kewl… but how come scientists care that this dinosaur’s a mummy? I guess the answer’s gotta be in this paragraph:

The fossilized remains, discovered in 1999, included not just bones, but fossilized soft tissues like skin, tendons and ligaments. Most importantly, it was the first-ever find of a dinosaur where the skin “envelope” had not collapsed onto the skeleton. This has allowed scientists to calculate muscle volume and mass for the first time. The fact that the skin is mostly intact allows for the exciting possibility that some of its original chemistry is still present.

Did you make anything out of all this science mumbo-jumbo? I know what “not just bones” means! There’s all sorts of icky dinosaur bits sticking to it… like skin and stuff. “Tendons,” “ligaments,” those are other gooey stuff inside your body, right? Can’t see that stuff if all you got is bones.

And it says the skin didn’t collapse, so they can see how much muscle those dinosaurs had… like how big around they were. More stuff you can’t see just from bones.

What about that part about “original chemistry”? What’s that? I bet it means dino DNA…. yeah, Jurassic Park time, dudes! They can get that mummy dino’s DNA and then make a whole army of mummy dinosaurs… hey, maybe being a scientist would be pretty kewl…

Mummy Dinosaurs Attack! (not really… just more GED science…)

But wouldn’t it be kewl?!?! Like, say you opened the tomb of the great Tyrano-Tut and there… instead of an Egyptian king… was a mummified T-Rex, and he’d be real hungry, too after all those years in a tomb. So he comes to life right there and eats three graduate students in one bite! Kewl. Totally. Continue reading

Autumn Leaves… an Alien Message? Cont.

Dude! Did you look at that article at You know, the big problem with these science stuff is the long words. Like “pigments.” What’s that? Mr. W says it’s what makes something a particular color. So why don’t they just say “colors”?

Anyway, I guess my idea about trees being aliens is bust. I looked over that article, and if you remember, I had two questions…

What makes tree leaves change color?

I guess trees start out with stuff that colors them, that pigment stuff. And “chlorophyll” is what makes them green. (I thought chlorophyll was what they call the pool guy, Phil, who puts chlorine in the pool…) Anyway, chlorophyll takes light and makes it into food for the plants. Kewl!

Then, there’s something else in leaves called “auxin.” (Hmmmm… sounds like an alien name to me…) This stuff keeps the channels to the leaf open… I think of it kind of like keeping blood vessels open. You know how leaves got little lines in them? Like little blood vessels, right? Except with no blood… weird. So, I guess auxin keeps those things open so the leaf stays connected to the tree.

When the tree stops making auxin, everything closes off, and it doesn’t get any food. Then the chlorophyll dies… and the green goes away. Then, you can see the other colors from other pigments in the leaves.

Why does it happen in the fall?

I guess all this stuff happens when it gets cold and the days get short… but how does that stop the auxin? The article doesn’t say. Maybe it is aliens after all…

What do you think?

Autumn Leaves… an Alien Message?

You are traveling to another dimension… a dimension not of sight and sound, but of mind… next stop… Dwayne’s Twilight Zone… doo, doo, doo, doo… doo, doo, doo, doo…

Seriously. Did you know science was so freaky? I never thought of it until I started studying for my GED. So I decided to keep you up to date on the weird and wild world of science…

Like, I was looking out my window, and I noticed that the leaves on the trees are starting to change colors. They do that every year, yeah, sure… but how come? I started to think how the trees are probably really aliens who traveled to Earth millions of years ago, and have been quietly waiting for the right moment to take over! And changing the colors of their leaves is a secret signal to each other and to their master ship that’s rotating the Earth.

Okay, Curtis says when I get ideas like that in my head, I should look up what’s really true. So I decided to look up about leaves. First I thought up my questions.

  • What makes tree leaves change color?
  • Why does it happen in the fall?

Here’s a link I found to start looking up my answers:

What do you all think? Are autumn leaves a natural process? Or signs of alien communication?

I’ll let you know next time what I found out.

GED Science: Crazy Clones!?

Dudes, I delivered pizza to this creepy government experiment family the other day. They were all wearin’ white shirts and jeans, and all of them had short brown hair. Like they were a bunch of clones! I was sweatin’ so hard by the time they paid me, I just knew they were gonna suck me into their clone vortex and spit me out to be just like one of them. No way, dude, I’d never wear a white shirt. I’d get pizza stains all over it in an instant! Man, all my shirts are serious tomato sauce magnets. Hey, I wonder if my shirts have been secretly altered by the government too… I think it’s time to buy some new shirts! (Maybe the ones with, like, cool fire designs all across the chest, so you wouldn’t even notice all the pizza stains!)

So, today’s GED Science problem has to do with creepy clones! Ok, so maybe not clones, but families that look alike.

Which of the following would provide the best evidence of a blood relation?

1.) The two people look alike.

2.) Matching fingerprints

3.) Similar interests

4.) Legal documentation stating a blood relation

5.) DNA analysis Continue reading

Doodz! Permission to Daydream When Studying GED Science!!!

Hey! Dudes! Havin’ lots of fun studyin’ GED science? Man, I just saw this article, and I guess I must be smarter than I think. See, whenever I’m in class, y’know, I get to thinkin’, an’ my mind starts wanderin’, an’ next thing I know, I’m like daydreamin’ I got a light saber and battling gooey green monsters on other planets. See? So, when the teacher asks me ’bout the GED questions… well… y’know how it is.

Well, I jus’ read about how our brains are like, totally active when we’re daydreaming. So I guess I’m all solvin’ problems without knowin’ it… just not the one’s I’m s’posed to be thinkin’ bout. Here’s the link to read all ’bout it… Daydream Brainy-Science

So, here’s a practice question on that article… an’ don’t daydream till after you’re done answerin’ it! Continue reading

GED Science! Rock-throwing chimp!

Hey! Like, I read this article, about a chimp at a zoo. Now, if I were in a zoo, like on an alien planet or something, I’d be totally pissed off. Right? Well, I guess this chimp is, too. Cuz here’s what he does. He gets some rocks, right, and he saves ’em up for later. And then when there’s people at the zoo, he’s got his rocks all ready to throw at ’em. That’s one mean chimp. But hey–what’s that got to do with science?

Continue reading