GED Science…Simple Machines

Machines? Simple? Dude, I always get confused by machines. I ain’t like Curtis, like, all knowin’ how to fix cars and everything. But on the GED science test, you gotta know some basic stuff about machines. An’ they got these things, you wouldn’t even think they were machines at all that are called “simple machines.” Continue reading

GED Science Conspiracies… Does the Government Want Your Hair?

Want to learn some GED science, and find out how the government’s gonna invade your privacy in the future? One single strand of hair… and THEY can tell where you were all last year? Can they tell what planet I was abducted to, that’s what I wanna know! Yeah, it’s true, a new science study can figure out where you were by lookin’ at your hair. Continue reading

GED Science: Glow-in-the-dark cats… Good science?

Yeah. This is totally something I want to see on the GED test… Cats that glow in the dark. How can the GED make something so interesting into boring multiple choice questions? So, did scientists make these cats to sell them to millionaires for big bucks? To write funner GED practice questions? Or can glow-in-the-dark cats really help scientists cure diseases and save endangered species? I thought about it a lot, cuz it seemed weird to me. I think the answer’s in how they do the cloning, tho, and that’s GED science thinking. Continue reading

GED Science: What’s So Great about Mummy Dinos?

Here’s the article I found about mummy dinosaurs…sweet!Dinosaur Mummy Found with Fossilized Skin and Soft Tissues

We all know it’s kewl… but how come scientists care that this dinosaur’s a mummy? I guess the answer’s gotta be in this paragraph:

The fossilized remains, discovered in 1999, included not just bones, but fossilized soft tissues like skin, tendons and ligaments. Most importantly, it was the first-ever find of a dinosaur where the skin “envelope” had not collapsed onto the skeleton. This has allowed scientists to calculate muscle volume and mass for the first time. The fact that the skin is mostly intact allows for the exciting possibility that some of its original chemistry is still present.

Did you make anything out of all this science mumbo-jumbo? I know what “not just bones” means! There’s all sorts of icky dinosaur bits sticking to it… like skin and stuff. “Tendons,” “ligaments,” those are other gooey stuff inside your body, right? Can’t see that stuff if all you got is bones.

And it says the skin didn’t collapse, so they can see how much muscle those dinosaurs had… like how big around they were. More stuff you can’t see just from bones.

What about that part about “original chemistry”? What’s that? I bet it means dino DNA…. yeah, Jurassic Park time, dudes! They can get that mummy dino’s DNA and then make a whole army of mummy dinosaurs… hey, maybe being a scientist would be pretty kewl…

Mummy Dinosaurs Attack! (not really… just more GED science…)

But wouldn’t it be kewl?!?! Like, say you opened the tomb of the great Tyrano-Tut and there… instead of an Egyptian king… was a mummified T-Rex, and he’d be real hungry, too after all those years in a tomb. So he comes to life right there and eats three graduate students in one bite! Kewl. Totally. Continue reading

Chocolate Covered GED…

Dude, I’m so needin’ some chocolate, like, right now! I bet that aliens gave us chocolate. How do I know? Well, cuz it’s kewl, duh. And cuz you know how aliens liked to hang around with ancient people. I found this article about how ancient people ate chocolate…mmmm…chocolate….

Here’s the first paragraph:

The earliest known use of cacao––the source of our modern day chocolate––has been pushed back more than 500 years, to somewhere between 1400 and 1100 B.C.E., thanks to new chemical analyses of residues extracted from pottery excavated at an archaeological site at Puerto Escondido in Honduras. The new evidence also indicates that, long before the flavor of the cacao seed (or bean) became popular, it was the sweet pulp of the chocolate fruit, used in making a fermented (5% alcohol) beverage, which first drew attention to the plant in the Americas.

Yeah, it’s all about chocolate, but isn’t that just the kind of thing that would be on the GED? That’s right, I said it! Chocolate covered GED! So I thought I’d make up a practice question… like this one…

The “new evidence” mentioned in the second sentence is…

1) A recipe for chocolate liquor

2) Chemical analyses of stuff from old pots

3) Sweet pulp of chocolate fruit (mmm….chocolate fruit…)

4) None of the above

What do you think? I’ll clue you in next time…now, I gotta get me some CHOCOLATE!!!1!!1!!!!111!