GED Science Conspiracies… Does the Government Want Your Hair?

Want to learn some GED science, and find out how the government’s gonna invade your privacy in the future? One single strand of hair… and THEY can tell where you were all last year? Can they tell what planet I was abducted to, that’s what I wanna know! Yeah, it’s true, a new science study can figure out where you were by lookin’ at your hair. Continue reading

GED Science: Glow-in-the-dark cats… Good science?

Yeah. This is totally something I want to see on the GED test… Cats that glow in the dark. How can the GED make something so interesting into boring multiple choice questions? So, did scientists make these cats to sell them to millionaires for big bucks? To write funner GED practice questions? Or can glow-in-the-dark cats really help scientists cure diseases and save endangered species? I thought about it a lot, cuz it seemed weird to me. I think the answer’s in how they do the cloning, tho, and that’s GED science thinking. Continue reading

GED Science: What’s So Great about Mummy Dinos?

Here’s the article I found about mummy dinosaurs…sweet!Dinosaur Mummy Found with Fossilized Skin and Soft Tissues

We all know it’s kewl… but how come scientists care that this dinosaur’s a mummy? I guess the answer’s gotta be in this paragraph:

The fossilized remains, discovered in 1999, included not just bones, but fossilized soft tissues like skin, tendons and ligaments. Most importantly, it was the first-ever find of a dinosaur where the skin “envelope” had not collapsed onto the skeleton. This has allowed scientists to calculate muscle volume and mass for the first time. The fact that the skin is mostly intact allows for the exciting possibility that some of its original chemistry is still present.

Did you make anything out of all this science mumbo-jumbo? I know what “not just bones” means! There’s all sorts of icky dinosaur bits sticking to it… like skin and stuff. “Tendons,” “ligaments,” those are other gooey stuff inside your body, right? Can’t see that stuff if all you got is bones.

And it says the skin didn’t collapse, so they can see how much muscle those dinosaurs had… like how big around they were. More stuff you can’t see just from bones.

What about that part about “original chemistry”? What’s that? I bet it means dino DNA…. yeah, Jurassic Park time, dudes! They can get that mummy dino’s DNA and then make a whole army of mummy dinosaurs… hey, maybe being a scientist would be pretty kewl…

Mummy Dinosaurs Attack! (not really… just more GED science…)

But wouldn’t it be kewl?!?! Like, say you opened the tomb of the great Tyrano-Tut and there… instead of an Egyptian king… was a mummified T-Rex, and he’d be real hungry, too after all those years in a tomb. So he comes to life right there and eats three graduate students in one bite! Kewl. Totally. Continue reading

Chocolate Covered GED…

Dude, I’m so needin’ some chocolate, like, right now! I bet that aliens gave us chocolate. How do I know? Well, cuz it’s kewl, duh. And cuz you know how aliens liked to hang around with ancient people. I found this article about how ancient people ate chocolate…mmmm…chocolate….

Here’s the first paragraph:

The earliest known use of cacao––the source of our modern day chocolate––has been pushed back more than 500 years, to somewhere between 1400 and 1100 B.C.E., thanks to new chemical analyses of residues extracted from pottery excavated at an archaeological site at Puerto Escondido in Honduras. The new evidence also indicates that, long before the flavor of the cacao seed (or bean) became popular, it was the sweet pulp of the chocolate fruit, used in making a fermented (5% alcohol) beverage, which first drew attention to the plant in the Americas.

Yeah, it’s all about chocolate, but isn’t that just the kind of thing that would be on the GED? That’s right, I said it! Chocolate covered GED! So I thought I’d make up a practice question… like this one…

The “new evidence” mentioned in the second sentence is…

1) A recipe for chocolate liquor

2) Chemical analyses of stuff from old pots

3) Sweet pulp of chocolate fruit (mmm….chocolate fruit…)

4) None of the above

What do you think? I’ll clue you in next time…now, I gotta get me some CHOCOLATE!!!1!!1!!!!111!

GED Science: Crazy Clones!?

Dudes, I delivered pizza to this creepy government experiment family the other day. They were all wearin’ white shirts and jeans, and all of them had short brown hair. Like they were a bunch of clones! I was sweatin’ so hard by the time they paid me, I just knew they were gonna suck me into their clone vortex and spit me out to be just like one of them. No way, dude, I’d never wear a white shirt. I’d get pizza stains all over it in an instant! Man, all my shirts are serious tomato sauce magnets. Hey, I wonder if my shirts have been secretly altered by the government too… I think it’s time to buy some new shirts! (Maybe the ones with, like, cool fire designs all across the chest, so you wouldn’t even notice all the pizza stains!)

So, today’s GED Science problem has to do with creepy clones! Ok, so maybe not clones, but families that look alike.

Which of the following would provide the best evidence of a blood relation?

1.) The two people look alike.

2.) Matching fingerprints

3.) Similar interests

4.) Legal documentation stating a blood relation

5.) DNA analysis Continue reading

GED Science: Peanuts!

Dudes! So, like, part of GED science is studying your own body… and health, and stuff like that. Like, did you know I’m allergic to peanuts? Seriously. Get those things away from me! I found a science article about peanut allergies, too… Some scientists did a study about kids allergic to peanuts. And guess what the solution is to peanut allergies that they found? PEANUTS!

Here’s how it works… the kids ate a little bit of peanuts every day, and their bodies sort of got used to dealing with them. They built up a tolerance for peanuts. Man, I wish I’d done that when I was little! But be careful, this article says that it’s just a study for now… and no one should do it without a doctor. You don’t want to set off your peanut allergies. No kidding! The article’s called “Children Can Complete Treatment For Peanut Allergies And Achieve Long-term Tolerance, Studies Suggest”

Here’s a GED Practice question from the article… First, read this paragraph from the article:

Duke and Arkansas Children’s Hospital began enrolling patients in studies five years ago to determine if incremental doses of peanut protein could change how the body’s immune system responds to its presence. The doses start as small as 1/1000 of a peanut. Eight to 10 months later, the children are ingesting the equivalent of up to 15 peanuts per day. The children stay on that daily therapy for several years and are monitored closely.

So, based on this study, what might a scientist hypothesize would be an effective treatment for an allergy to milk?

1) a regular daily dose of 1/1000 oz. of milk

2) a daily dose of milk, beginning at a very small quantity and slowly increasing

3) a daily dose of milk, beginning at the maximum tolerable quantity and slowly decreasing

4) a daily dose of 10 oz. of milk for 8 to 10 months

5) a small dose of milk administered at random intervals

So, what’d’ya think? Read more to find the answer… Continue reading

Doodz! Permission to Daydream When Studying GED Science!!!

Hey! Dudes! Havin’ lots of fun studyin’ GED science? Man, I just saw this article, and I guess I must be smarter than I think. See, whenever I’m in class, y’know, I get to thinkin’, an’ my mind starts wanderin’, an’ next thing I know, I’m like daydreamin’ I got a light saber and battling gooey green monsters on other planets. See? So, when the teacher asks me ’bout the GED questions… well… y’know how it is.

Well, I jus’ read about how our brains are like, totally active when we’re daydreaming. So I guess I’m all solvin’ problems without knowin’ it… just not the one’s I’m s’posed to be thinkin’ bout. Here’s the link to read all ’bout it… Daydream Brainy-Science

So, here’s a practice question on that article… an’ don’t daydream till after you’re done answerin’ it! Continue reading

GED Science! Rock-throwing chimp!

Hey! Like, I read this article, about a chimp at a zoo. Now, if I were in a zoo, like on an alien planet or something, I’d be totally pissed off. Right? Well, I guess this chimp is, too. Cuz here’s what he does. He gets some rocks, right, and he saves ’em up for later. And then when there’s people at the zoo, he’s got his rocks all ready to throw at ’em. That’s one mean chimp. But hey–what’s that got to do with science?

Continue reading