GED Practice Essay from Andre

Andre sent me a practice essay he did for the GED, to see if I can help. So, I’m going to go through it here, so everyone can learn about it and see a good sample essay.

WHY I THINK AN SUV IS BETTER

I think an SUV is better than a regular car for many reasons. Wich i’m going to explain to you. SUV’s are big, i have a very good view while i drive. The car is high so it gives me the advantage of looking over other cars. Suv’s are roomy, good for big families or to go grocery shopping. They are strong, and safer too.

I’m going to give you some examples why you would like a SUV too.

Imagine driving one day far from home, the clouds are dark, and starts to rain. The streets are getting flooded, cars are getting stock, and full of water. BUt there you go in your SUV on your way home cause you are so high above the gorund that you have no problem.

Another example could be tha you see an accident. Someone in a small car that got destroyed by a medium aize truck. The people in the small car are rush to
the hospital in critical condition. You realize that it would no have been that way if they where driving an SUV. Or at least ti would not been that bad.

Yet another good example is that SUV’s are so strong that you can easily pull a boat, a trailer, a camper or another car that has broken down. The only bad thing about SUV’s is that they are not good on gas mileage, but is not a reazon not to get one with all the pros i told you about.

I guess that what you can do, if you are not sure about buying an SUV, is to rent one for a couple of weeks. Give it a try, drive around, take a trip, and after that you’ll see that i was right. SUV’s are better cars.

Thanks, Andre! My first reaction is you’re doing a good job. You’ve got a main idea, examples, and organization. You’ve got an introduction and a conclusion. That goes a long way to getting a good grade on the writing GED. I think there are some areas that you can improve… the two things I’d say are (1) go through and check spelling and capitalization after you’re done writing, and (2) delete sentences that talk about the essay itself. Here’s what I mean… Here’s the introduction:

I think an SUV is better than a regular car for many reasons. Wich i’m going to explain to you. SUV’s are big, i have a very good view while i drive. The car is high so it gives me the advantage of looking over other cars. Suv’s are roomy, good for big families or to go grocery shopping. They are strong, and safer too.

This is good because it says what your main idea is, that an SUV is better than a car, and it gives some reasons why that you’ll talk more about later. That’s great. To take it to the next level, I would check the spelling and capitalization. “I” needs to be capitalized, and “SUV” should be capitalized everywhere…and the word “wich” should be “which.”

I think an SUV is better than a regular car for many reasons. Wich i’m Which I’m going to explain to you. SUV’s are big, i I have a very good view while i I drive. The car is high so it gives me the advantage of looking over other cars. Suv’s SUV’s are roomy, good for big families or to go grocery shopping. They are strong, and safer too.

That’s not going to make a huge difference in your score, but it will help. The other thing is that you want to take out things that don’t really add to your argument. For example, saying “I think” isn’t a very interesting way to begin a sentence… in fact, it makes it sound a little wishy-washy. The whole point of your essay is to say what you think, so you don’t need to say “I think.” It’s better to say, “An SUV is better than a regular car, for many reasons.” It’s stronger, more confident. Then, you say “Which I’m going to explain to you.” I’d just take that out completely. Just go ahead and explain… you don’t have to say what you’re going to say next in your essay. Take out things that talk about the essay itself… leave in the stuff that talks about your subject, SUVs.

I think an An SUV is better than a regular car, for many reasons. Which I’m going to explain to you. SUV’s are big, I have a very good view while I drive. The car is high so it gives me the advantage of looking over other cars. SUV’s are roomy, good for big families or to go grocery shopping. They are strong, and safer too.

I see is run-on, too… “SUV’s are big” is a sentence, and so is “I have a very good view while I drive.” You could ad “so” here to make the sentence correct, or change the comma to a semicolon. In the next sentence, you really should have a comma before the word “so,” because it’s joining two complete sentences. These are really minor things that probably won’t count against you on the GED test, though.

An SUV is better than a regular car, for many reasons. SUV’s are big, so I have a very good view while I drive. The car is high, so it gives me the advantage of looking over other cars. SUV’s are roomy, good for big families or to go grocery shopping. They are strong, and safer too.

The next paragraph isn’t really a whole paragraph, just the sentence. And I don’t think you need it. It’s not talking about SUVs. It’s talking about the essay, what you’re going to say. I would just delete it.

I’m going to give you some examples why you would like a SUV too.

The next three paragraphs are the body, or middle of your essay, where you give examples explaining your reasons for saying SUVs are better than other cars. To me, this is the best part of your essay. You’ve got great examples. You paint a picture for the reader, saying things like “Imagine driving one day far from home, the clouds are dark…” That is really effective. Again, you should go through to correct minor errors, but these aren’t going to count against you too bad on the GED. Look for words you left out on accident, or accidental misspellings. Also look for places you’re talking about the essay itself and not the subject:

Imagine driving one day far from home. , the The clouds are dark, and it starts to rain. The streets are getting flooded, and cars are getting stock, stuck and full of water. BUt But there you go in your SUV on your way home because you are so high above the gorund ground that you have no problem.

Another example could be tha Perhaps you see an accident. Someone in a small car that got destroyed by a medium aize size truck. The people in the small car are rushed to the hospital in critical condition. You realize that it would not have been that way if they where driving an SUV. Or at least ti it would not have been that bad.

Yet another good example is that SUV’s are also so strong that you can easily pull a boat, a trailer, a camper or another car that has broken down. The only bad thing about SUV’s is that they are not good on gas mileage, but that is not a reazon reason not to get one with all the pros i told you about.

It’s good that you mention a reason people might disagree and then refute, or argue against it. Overall, great job. The last paragraph is your conclusion. It works. It gives a new thought and doesn’t just restate the beginning. I’d take out “I guess” for the same reason I’d take out “I think,” and probably you don’t need to say “what you can do.” Other than that, I like this paragraph a lot.

I guess that what you can do, if If you are not sure about buying an SUV, is to rent one for a couple of weeks. Give it a try, drive around, take a trip, and after that you’ll see that i I was right. SUV’s are better cars.

I think you’ll do really well on the GED writing! Thanks for sending in your practice essay. It’ll help a lot of other students, too.

For more information about the GED test and GED test preparation, visit The GED Academy at http://www.passged.com.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*